Boy moms—you’re either already side-eyeing your future daughter-in-law or you’re carrying the crushing responsibility of fixing modern masculinity. And no matter what, you’re doing it wrong in someone’s eyes. But what if we stopped expecting moms to either be their son’s first love or a full-time social justice warrior? Let’s talk about why we need to give boy moms a damn break—and how #boymom culture is setting all of us up for failure.

“We need to toughen him up.” It’s just a harmless phrase, right? Except it’s not. It’s the first step in teaching boys to suppress their emotions, to believe that kindness is weakness, and that their worth is measured by how much they can “take it.” But here’s the thing—our boys aren’t training for some brutal gladiator battle. And the way we respond to these outdated ideas now will shape the men they become. So, are we raising boys who feel safe expressing themselves, or are we setting them up for a lifetime of emotional struggle?