When Did Average Stop Being Good Enough?
It’s insane to me how overstimulated kids are expected to be these days. Flashcards for newborns, gymnastics for babies, and cooking classes for toddlers... what is happening? Many parents throw a million activities at their kids, hoping to turn them into baby geniuses and mini-Olympians.
They often feel they need to provide a comprehensive experience for their children to ensure future success. However, research suggests that overscheduling can lead to stress and burnout for both children and families. It might sound un-American, but when did average become a dirty word?
Overstimulation Nation: Why We’re Doing Too Much for Our Kids
Kids today are involved in significantly more extracurricular activities compared to past generations. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, participation in activities like sports, music, and clubs has grown. For instance:
By 2020, 37% of girls and 27% of boys took lessons (music, dance, etc.), compared to 33.5% and 24%, respectively, in 1998.
Sports participation has also risen, with 44% of boys involved in sports by 2020, up from 41% in 1998.
This trend has increased over the last few decades, reflecting societal pressure for kids to excel academically and in various extracurriculars.
The Myth of the “Super Kid”
Look, I get it. We all want the best for our kids, but somewhere along the way, the message got twisted. Now, it seems like every parent is trying to raise the next super kid—a star student-athlete-music-prodigy with the emotional intelligence of a 40-year-old. The idea that our kids need to excel in every possible area is unrealistic and ridiculous.
Constantly pushing kids to be extraordinary at everything is doing more harm than good. This isn’t just my opinion—psychologists have been saying this for years. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, kids who are overscheduled and pressured to succeed at everything often end up more anxious and stressed.
Let me say that louder for the people in the back:
our obsession with “more” is screwing them up.
Do you think getting them involved in 20 things, jamming them into one structured activity after another, will make them well-rounded? A packed schedule isn’t a guarantee of success—it’s a recipe for burnout. It creates tired, stressed-out kids who never get a break from the constant demand to be "more."
When Parenting Becomes a Pressure Cooker
And let’s not pretend that all this pressure to excel is just about the kids. There’s a lot of pressure on us as parents, too.
Social media is a nightmare. You see “picture perfect” moms posting about their kid’s full schedule like:
3 pm Chess club
4 pm Piano lesson
5 pm Soccer
6 pm Volunteer work
And it’s like, how are other parents managing all this and handling their own lives? Why does their life look perfect? What am I doing wrong?
But the real question is, why are we letting other people’s insane standards dictate our lives?
The Cost to Be a Super Parent With Super Kids
Here’s the kicker: many families can’t even afford this constant barrage of activities. Youth sports alone can cost families thousands a year. Music lessons? Same story.
This “keep up with the Joneses” nonsense is not only burning out parents, it’s also widening the gap between families who can afford all these extras and those who can’t.
Are we really willing to bankrupt ourselves financially and emotionally just to prove we’re doing enough? Parents need to stop measuring success by how busy or “enriched” their kids' lives are. Maybe the best thing we can do for our kids is less.
What Are We Teaching Our Kids About Success?
What message are we sending our kids when we push them to do everything? By constantly pushing them to achieve, we’re really saying that who they are isn’t good enough. We’re setting them up to believe that success is all that matters and that failure is something to avoid at all costs.
But failure is where the growth happens. That’s how they learn to pick themselves up and figure out what they’re really made of. Do we want our kids to be resilient and happy, or do we want them to be perfect little robots who can’t handle a setback or—God forbid— downtime?
The Value of Boredom and Play
Here’s a wild idea—what if kids just had some time to be bored? I’m not suggesting you let them sit around like zombies, but studies have shown that unstructured play is critical for cognitive development.
Instead of constantly being told what to do or how to do it, let them:
Use their imagination
Solve problems
Figure things out on their own
It’s called free play, and guess what? It’s actually good for them. Boredom fosters creativity. Free play builds independence. Both of those things are much more valuable in the long run than another gold star on a spelling test.
We’re so rushed to stuff our kids’ schedules with soccer practices, violin lessons, and coding camps that we forget one simple truth: kids need downtime. Let them get bored. Let them figure out what interests them without adult supervision or a structured plan.
Choosing Peace Over Pressure
Long before having my kid, I witnessed some of the best parenting in a Netherlands coffee shop (yes, an actual coffee shop).
A father simply watched his toddler climb on chairs, play with utensils, and point to objects outside the window. The dad didn’t rush him to the next activity or even give a f*ck what anyone thought of his son exploring the world around him.
That stuck with me. That’s the kind of parent I want to be. And since then, I’ve incorporated timeless parenting wisdom from other cultures.
Letting Kids Be Kids: The Case for Embracing Average
My husband and I never chased high-paying careers or fancy titles. We've been called "underachievers" for not living up to some arbitrary potential. And that mindset is exactly how we parent.
In this house, we’re not raising some mini-executive or rocket scientist—we’re raising a human being. We don't expect our kid to ace every test, be a star athlete, or run for student council in preschool.
All this pressure to be perfect? It’s nonsense. Kids don’t need packed schedules or constant achievement. They need space to grow into who they are, not who society thinks they should be. Kids need time to mess up and just be kids.
Life's full of mistakes, failures, and dead ends, and we won’t shield him from that reality. Average is more than okay; it’s real life.
