Raising Kids When Parents Have Different Political Views and Religious Beliefs

Ah, love knows no political or religious boundaries, and sometimes, neither does the dinner table debate. Although I’m an agnostic moderate, I find myself married to a Catholic conservative and friends with card-carrying atheist liberals. As a result, our household is the yin and yang of political and faith banter.

While our differences make for interesting discussions, raising kids in a bipartisan and interfaith household comes with its own set of challenges and chuckles. I can’t help but wonder how the extreme political dichotomy we live in today will influence my family in the future.

Parenting with differing political and religious views is like juggling flaming torches—exciting, a bit precarious, and occasionally resulting in singed eyebrows. Differences in politics and religion can add layers of complexity to parenting. Yet, the ability to laugh together, compromise, and appreciate the diversity of thought transforms these challenges into memorable anecdotes of family life.

How to Avoid Politics Being a Deal Breaker in Relationships

Political differences can add color and depth to the grand tapestry of family life, or it can set it aflame like a dumpster fire. Whether liberals, conservatives, or somewhere in between, you and your co-parent can unite in the pursuit of laughter, love, and maybe a little bipartisan compromise. After all, a family that debates together, stays together—ideological differences and all.

1.     Embrace the Diverse Political Landscape

First and foremost, throw out any preconceived notions about how your children should align politically. It's like expecting them to share your taste in music—it's just not going to happen. Embrace the diversity of opinions in your household. After all, it's a mini democracy under your roof, and every voice deserves to be heard, even if it's a pint-sized one debating tax policies during dinner.

2.     Teach the Art of Civil Discourse

In our household, debates are a sport, not a battleground. Teach your kids the invaluable art of civil discourse. Show them that political disagreements don't have to end in a duel; they can be a source of enlightenment and growth. We've turned our dinner table into a mini-United Nations, complete with diplomatic negotiations and the occasional dessert embargo. I’m totally kidding! I always get dessert.

3.     Find Common Ground

Even the most ideologically opposed partners can find common ground. In our case, it's the undeniable fact that our family and household come before any political beliefs. Even my Trump-supporting husband recognizes that conservative beliefs about same-sex marriages are antiquated, especially since his in-laws are lesbians.

Find shared values and activities that transcend political lines. Whether it's a love for nature, family traditions, or a mutual dislike for doing the dishes, focusing on commonalities helps build a strong foundation for your family.

4.     Turn Political Jargon into Family Game Night

Politics can be confusing for adults, let alone children. Turn the often perplexing world of political jargon into a family game night extravaganza. Who can define "bipartisanship" the quickest? What's the funniest way to describe a filibuster? Turning learning into a game not only educates the kiddos but adds a dash of humor to the political process.

5.     Emphasize the Importance of Voting

While Mom and Dad might cancel each other out at the ballot box, make sure your kids understand the significance of voting. Let them know that in a democracy, every voice matters. It's like picking toppings for a pizza—everyone gets a say, and compromise is key. Besides, teaching them the power of the vote might come in handy when deciding on the next family movie night selection.

6.     Be a United Front in Parenting

When it comes to parenting decisions, present a united front. Regardless of political leanings, align on core values and principles to create a stable and nurturing environment for your children. Save the political jousting for your weekly debate night and focus on building a loving and supportive family foundation.

7.     Embrace the Learning Experience

Raising kids in a politically diverse household is an ongoing learning experience for everyone involved. It's a crash course in compromise, tolerance, and the art of a well-timed eye roll. Embrace the unique journey of parenting in a bipartisan marriage, and remember, the real winner is the one who can make the best macaroni art during craft time.

How to Overcome Religious Differences While Raising Kids

So, you're navigating the political landscape of parenting, but wait, there's more! Enter the realm of religious differences and navigating the theological divide. According to the Pew Research Center Religious Landscape Study, interfaith marriage is increasingly common in the United States, accounting for 39% of marriages since 2010. Co-parenting is a delicate dance, and when religious differences enter the equation, the steps can become even more intricate.

1.     Respectful Resonance

The cornerstone of co-parenting with religious differences is respect. It's vital to acknowledge and honor your co-parent's beliefs, even if they differ from your own. Just as you expect your beliefs to be respected, reciprocate the gesture. This mutual respect lays the foundation for a cooperative and supportive co-parenting environment.

Picture this: I’m 15 weeks pregnant and my husband states on his birthday that he wants to baptize our son. Meanwhile, I, the agnostic, am trying to plan our shotgun wedding in just a few weeks. I tell him I don’t care if a priest splashes some water on our little bundle of joy, as long as I don't have to plan the ecclesiastical affair. A baptism means nothing to me but it means everything to him and his family.

Respecting your co-parent's religious practices doesn't mean you have to adopt them. It simply implies acknowledging their significance and allowing space for diverse beliefs within your shared parenting journey. By doing so, you create an atmosphere where both parents feel acknowledged and valued.

2.     Teach Tolerance and Inclusion

Religious diversity within a family provides a unique opportunity to instill essential values in your children. Rather than viewing differences as divisive, use them as a springboard for teaching tolerance and inclusion.

Engage your children in age-appropriate conversations about various belief systems. Explain that the world is a tapestry of diverse cultures and religions, each contributing to the rich fabric of humanity. Emphasize the importance of respecting differences and embracing the idea that everyone is entitled to their beliefs.

Encourage your children to ask questions and express their curiosity. This not only fosters a sense of understanding but also empowers them to navigate a world that celebrates diversity.

3.     Fostering Independent Belief Systems

As parents, it's natural to want to impart our values to our children. However, when co-parenting with religious differences, it's crucial to strike a balance that allows your children to form their own belief systems.

Create an open dialogue with your children about spirituality and faith. Ask them what they believe and provide a safe space for them to explore their thoughts. This not only promotes critical thinking but also allows your children to develop a sense of autonomy in shaping their belief systems.

Avoid imposing one parent's beliefs over the other. Instead, celebrate the richness that arises from having exposure to different perspectives. This approach empowers your children to make informed decisions about their beliefs, fostering a sense of independence and self-discovery.