8 Tips for Giving Advice to a New Mom

Becoming a new mom is an exhilarating yet challenging journey that involves sleepless nights and a whirlwind of emotions. For those on the outside looking in, offering advice to a new mom can be a tricky endeavor.

In the midst of hormonal fluctuations and the profound responsibility of caring for a newborn, well-intentioned advice can sometimes be misconstrued. Many new parents struggle with unsolicited parenting advice, and it can cause riffs in families.

As a new mom myself, here are some tips on how friends and family can provide support without overwhelming or unintentionally causing distress.

1. Respect the New Mom's Space

One of the most well-meaning but potentially hazardous actions friends and family can take is offering unsolicited advice. Hormones are raging, emotions are heightened, and the pressure to be the perfect mom can be overwhelming. While your intentions may be pure, a new mom might not be in the mindset to receive advice, even if it comes from a place of love.

Understand that being a mom is an incredibly personal experience. The instinct to nurture and protect is primal, and hearing advice, no matter how well-intentioned, might be perceived as a critique of her abilities. Instead of sharing your wisdom right away, offer a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on. Sometimes, just having someone there to listen can be more valuable than any advice.

2. Patience is Key: Wait to be Asked

While it's natural for experienced parents to want to share their wealth of knowledge, waiting to be asked for advice is a crucial strategy when dealing with a new mom. Many first-time mothers seek guidance from those who have walked the path before them. However, bombarding a new mom with advice she didn't request can be overwhelming and counterproductive.

Instead, let her take the lead. If she's curious or struggling with something, she will likely turn to you for guidance. This not only ensures that your advice is welcomed but also fosters a sense of empowerment for the new mom, allowing her to take charge of her parenting journey. By waiting for her to initiate the conversation, you demonstrate respect for her autonomy and confidence in her ability to navigate motherhood.

3. Offer Help in a Practical Manner

Rather than providing advice, consider offering tangible support. Whether it's preparing a meal, helping with household chores, or simply being there for emotional support, practical assistance can be invaluable to a new mom. Acts of kindness can relieve some of the stress that comes with adjusting to motherhood, showing that you care without imposing your opinions.

Remember, every new mom is unique, and what worked for one might not work for another. Instead of assuming you know what's best, be adaptable and responsive to her needs. By respecting her space, waiting for her to seek advice, and offering practical assistance, you can play a vital role in supporting a new mom on her journey into motherhood. After all, the most precious gift you can give is the understanding that she is doing an amazing job, and she has your unwavering support.

4. Be Mindful of Your Language

When offering any form of guidance, choose your words carefully. Phrases like "You should," or "You must" can come across as prescriptive and may inadvertently make a new mom feel judged or inadequate.

Instead, frame your advice in a supportive manner. For example, say, "I found it helpful to..." or "You might consider..." This approach allows you to share your experiences without imposing your choices on her, fostering a more open and collaborative conversation.

5. Respect Parenting Choices

Every parent has their own set of beliefs and values when it comes to raising their child. While your parenting style may have worked wonders for you, it's essential to recognize that there isn't a one-size-fits-all approach to parenthood.

Respect the new mom's choices, even if they differ from your own. Offering support without judgment creates a nurturing environment where she feels accepted and confident in her decisions.

6. Be Sensitive to Time and Energy Constraints

New moms are often overwhelmed with the demands of caring for a newborn, and time becomes a precious commodity. If you want to offer advice or assistance, be considerate of her schedule and energy levels.

Instead of making broad offers like, "Let me know if you need anything," suggest specific ways you can help, such as running errands, babysitting for a short period, or bringing over a meal. Concrete offers are more likely to be accepted and appreciated during this busy and exhausting time.

7. Celebrate Small Wins

Parenting is a journey filled with both triumphs and challenges. While it's essential to offer support during difficult times, don't forget to celebrate the small victories.

Acknowledge the new mom's accomplishments, whether it's successfully soothing a fussy baby, mastering a new feeding technique, or simply managing to take a shower. Positive reinforcement can boost her confidence and make her feel more capable in her role as a parent.

8. Encourage Self-Care

Remind the new mom to prioritize self-care, as caring for a newborn can be all-consuming. Encourage her to take breaks when possible, whether it's a short walk, a quiet moment with a cup of tea, or a nap. But do so by offering to step in while she takes a moment for herself. Simply telling her to take care of herself without presenting a way for her to do so is impractical.

New moms can be hesitant to take breaks and allow someone to take care of their precious bundle. Reinforce the idea that taking care of herself is crucial for her well-being and, consequently, for her ability to care for her baby.

Navigating the delicate terrain of offering advice to a new mom requires empathy, patience, and a deep understanding of the challenges she faces. By respecting her autonomy, waiting to be asked, and offering practical and non-judgmental support, you can play a vital role in making her transition into motherhood smoother and more enjoyable.

Remember, your role as a friend or family member is to be a source of comfort and encouragement, providing a safe space for her to grow into her new role with confidence and grace.